World's First Produce-less Farmer's Market

I admit it.  Calling June's farmer’s market organized by the city of Alpine and hosted by Golden Acorn Casino “The World’s First Produce-less Farmer’s Market” isn’t fair on several levels (hey, at least I resisted the urge to call it a hobo’s market since 75% of it looked like a garage sale … wait … I guess I’m not great at controlling urges).

First of all, it’s been my experience that the term “farmer’s market” gets thrown around pretty loosely, so Alpine wasn’t the first to abuse me and they won’t be the last.  After all, El Centro’s farmer’s market should have been the greatest of all time.  Think about it.  “The Center” of one of the most agriculturally productive regions in the world hosted a farmer’s market, yet not a single farmer had a stall set up.  Clearly, local farmers really don’t need a local place to sell their produce, but it’s once a year boys.  Do it for kicks at least, yeesh. 

If there is one thing I learned from the El Centro market back in January, it’s that even if it’s not truly a “farmer’s market” there are always good bites to be had.  Like the nice German woman selling hand-prepped schnitzel sandwiches and the best sauerkraut I’ve ever had:

 

And that was certainly the case at the Alpine market.  There was one stall selling pacific island food, but the problem was that they were on island time and I hate waiting.  Smelled and looked amazing though.  There was also a couple selling homemade beef jerky, which was perfection (not too tough, not too salty and it tasted like carne asada).  That same couple was selling homemade zucchini relish, which was really good, but just sweet enough that it could have used a spicier kick at the end.

 

But what stole the show, for me at least, were “The Seasonal Gourmet’s” jellies and jams.  And maybe best of all, it turns out TSG is from IV!  Charlotte Levy cooks up and packages a nice assortment of preserves in a commercial kitchen in Holtville.  (OK, look.  She told me the restaurant kitchen she uses is a Holtville institution that according to her mother-in-law, an apparent biscuits and gravy snob, has the best biscuits and gravy.  Anywhere.  I’m not here to promote anyone, but this is vital information, no?  When are you ever going to go to Holtville enough times to find the place out for yourself?  I twisted her arm a tiny bit.  Nana’s Café.  There, I said it.)  

I took home two jars from The Seasonal Gourmet.  One filled with Apricot Habanero Jelly, which is great on crackers, but will take a kosher hot dog to a whole new level.  And another filled with Caramel Spiced Pear Butter, which is so good on pancakes and waffles it should be illegal.  (If anyone is interested in buying from The Seasonal Gourmet then just mention it in the comments section and I'll pass along her number there.)

But poking fun at Alpine’s market is unfair on yet another level, local farmers couldn’t harvest!  My wife chatted up one grower who was at the market selling some sad looking little beets, and he said that with the unseasonably cool weather his crops just weren’t ready to go.  So maybe next year Alpine will have an amazing farmer’s market.

All in all, it was worth the hop, skip and a jump we took up the hill.  Yes, there were quite a few hill folk selling rusty knives and what not, but the mountain air was crisp and cool, the goodies we took home made it worthwhile anyway and, after strolling from stall to stall for about an hour and a half, jumping over to Janet’s Montana Café in Alpine was not exactly torture.  (If you go, always order breakfast.  If you order a burger there you might as well ask the cook to come out and punch you in the face.  You’ll be happier.  Trust me.)

-- Rigo

Comments

[Humbert]

Two things I'm now waiting on Rigo for: 1) chocolate strawberry pie and 2) beef jerky.

[jbrad]

I had a shnitzel in Germany and still rank that meal as one of the best I have ever eaten. And, FYI, only jelly counts. Jam is made by the devil...

[soulman]

EVERY saturday morning my kids ask me if I can take them to have breakfast at Janet's in Alpine. Even lil Miza who never sits still will sit through an entire breakfast at that place. He never sits through anything. Maybe it's the cool crisp mountain air.

[Arleta Aguirre]

Naming the event Farmers Market was a stretch.... but you nailed the best product there. The Seasonal Gourmet's jams and jellies are fantastic. I tried several and then went back and bought more for my kids. I think I'm going to ask for gift baskets when Christmas comes along and give all of my friends something home-made this year. Loved your column (all of it) and will be a reader from now on.

[Brianna]

I'm a firm believer that the Farmer's Market in El Centro is a sad, sad, sad excuse for a farmer's market. So disappointing every year. Every year it gets smaller.

I've never bothered to stop and eat in Alpine, but definitely will next time in favor of grabbing something to eat for the road on the way to San Diego. Great post.

[Rodrigo]

Thanks, everyone!

Humbert: What a pain in the butt you are. Unfortunately, the jerky is long gone. I thought I gave you some! I'll order some more -- I still have that vendor's email. But it's super homemade, packaged in ziploc bags and everything, just so you know.

jbrad: Niiiiiice! That reminded me that I should have qualified the statement I made about, "the nice German woman selling [...] the best sauerkraut I've ever had," by admitting I've only had nasty sauerkraut in the past and therefore hate it. That I found her's delicious says a lot then, no?

And I'm almost strictly a jam and preserves man! I only have jelly on lamb. Oh, and in donuts. Glorious donuts.

Soul: (Yes, I'm responding to every comment. Never get a chatterbox going.)

Do you remember texting me that day and telling me to get breakfast at Janet's? I don't know how I talked myself into that burger, man. Sounded great: medium burger, lettuce, tomato and avocado on squaw bread. Garbage. Inexplicably and inexcusably. Horrible. It was like Mars Attacks! on a plate.

Wifey ordered the pumpkin pancakes in the pic. Smart woman.

Arleta: Were you there for the "Farmer's Market" too?! I thought I saw you! Just kidding, we don't know each other. But I'm glad you were here to confirm The Seasonal Gourmet's preserve prowess. Some people (Humbert, Miza and Soulman) think I over-sell things sometimes (Framboise Lambic, which the boys say did a number on their stomachs on Saturday. Of all the things they consumed that night, my beer killed them. Sure.)

And thanks for reading! I'm one of several people that posts on this blog so keep checking in on us!

Brianna: The best Farmer's Market I've ever been to was at Pier One in San Francisco. I doubt we could match the variety of produce, but come on! This is what we do here! And it doesn't have to be produce only. Anything local. Can you imagine someone roasting pheasant next year? I'd do it myself but I don't kill animals, I only eat them.

And Alpine has a couple of nice spots. Janet's is great for breakfast and it's surrounded by folksy shops. Really nice. Mediterraneo is down the street from there and is also good. The food is overrated and the staff needs to get over itself, but the view is spectacular. One of the best places to patio dine in the San Diego area.

There. I'm done!

[Humbert]

ummm. was this another post?

[Rodrigo]

I usually respond to comments as they come in, but spent the day out and about. It's your fault for making me work, like, all day today.

[soulman]

You should always listen to what i say. ALWAYS!

[Sham Rock]

Another quality column that was as interesting to read as it was enticing to contemplate. Liked the running banter at the end, too.

[Rodrigo]

Thanks, Sham Rock! Running banter is what I do best.

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