You Oughta Know -- 2003

A long goodbye to the Decade-that-never-got-a-nickname.

How about we take the next few weeks to remember movies from each year of the Whatevers (Aughts, Aughties, Double O's -- whatever) that we loved and hated?

(Sorry I missed last week.  Sometimes I get crazy busy!)

Lets shake things up and break this year down month by month:

January

The most putrid month in the history of film, January '03 brought us Just Married (featuring Brittany Murphy of King of the Hill fame opposite the immortal Ashton Kutcher), Final Destination ... part 2 and Kangaroo Jack to name a few.  The most notable movie of the month?  Biker Boyz.  A great big nothing of a movie that was supposed to duplicate the success of movies like The Fast and The Furious, but completely bombed.  Donlt remember it?  Here's a clip where Kid Rock's character -- let me repeat that -- Kid Rock's character ... challenges Laurence Fishburne's character for the title of "King of Cali."

It's Laurence Fishburne that makes this the most notable movie of the month.  Has there ever been a movie star like him?  The guy was in Apocalypse Now thirty years ago.  Three decades!  How many good movies -- no -- how many watchable movies has he made in that time?  Ten.  I counted.  If Sean Connery doesn't turn down the role of Morpheus, I don't know what this guy's career would be.  There's a reason the man is on network TV now.

February

A major fork in the road came this month for bean town buddies Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.  In February of '03 Damon released Gerry (pronounced "Jerry"), a collaboration with Casey Affleck and Good Will Hunting director Gus Van Sant.  It's a cooky movie where where Van Sant gets real nerdy with some of the things he does visually, and the dialogue is goofy too.  The only characters in the movie are Affleck and Damon, they call each other Gerry and even use Gerry as a verb, "You gerried the landing," I think they say at one point.  Is it a good movie?  No, it's torture.  There's a scene where Casey Affleck's character has to figure out a way off a giant rock he had to climb.  The two characters discuss the exit options at length, which was a very funny scene, but I only watched for about twenty more minutes before I gave up on the movie.  Still, it was Damon making a movie for all the right reasons, I think.

While Damon was getting his movie-nerd on in Gerry, Ben Affleck was starring in Daredevil.  The highlight of this movie?  Jennifer Garner's training scene and Amy Lee wailing in the background, which accounts for about five minutes of screen time.  It dawns on me that there are teenagers today who will watch this movie on basic cable and be astounded, not only that the Daredevil is so lumpy, but that digital effects were so primitive some seven years ago.  No, kids, the movie was considered cartoony back then too.  It's a summer blockbuster movie that was released in February.  Not an accident.

So it's no wonder that today you can count on Damon for a good movie every other year, and you can count on Affleck for unwatchable, big budget garbage.

March

The super fun Bend It Like Beckham was released this month.  I'm about to ruin Keira Knightley forever for you by passing along a comment my sister made a few years ago: "She's pretty, but her lower lip is always hanging.  It's wierd."  Never noticed it before she pointed that out, have not stopped staring at that low hanging lip ever since.

April

The most notable movie for me this month?  Phone Booth.  I ... I liked it.

May

Fact: The Italian Job is a better caper movie than Ocean's 11.  Yes it is.  Yes it is.  Yes it is!

June

This one gave January a run for the title of Worst Movie Month in History.  Hulk.  Hulk was the best movie released in June of 2003.

July

The Curse of the Black Pearl was probably the funnest movie released this month.  I say "probably" because everyone went to watch this one without me.  Everyone.  Even my wife didn't wait for me, and so, in protest, I vowed never to watch this movie.  And I never will.

August

One of the most remarkable career shifts we saw in the Aughts came from Paul Giamatti.  He went from playing "Pig Vomit" in Private Parts in the late Nineties to being nominated for an Oscar in 2005 for his performance in Cinderalla Man -- which was a make-up nomination.  He was nothing special in that movie (whereas Russell Crowe had to act like he was in love with Rene Zellweger ... I have to admit that took skill); but if you think the nomination he truly deserved was for Sideways in 2004, you're a little off.  You have to go back a year further to August of 2003 when American Splendor was released.

American Splendor is a sweet and funny story that was based on the life of cult comic book writer Harvey Pekar and told using a combination of dramatization, animation, monologues and interviews.  It's fun.  I don't say this often, but if you haven't watched American Splendor, watch American Splendor!

September

Lost in Translation.  Most nuanced performance of Bill Murray's career -- much better than he was in Rushmore.  Which was the best performance of his career?  Caddyshack.  That was easy.  I've liked the New Bill, but if like me you long for the ol' wacky Bill you'll be happy to hear Ghostbusters III is definitely in the works.

October November December

This period was dominated by the lead up and release of the conclusions of two of the best trilogies ever made, The Matrix: Revolutions and Return of the King.  It frustrates me that people always bag on Reloaded and Revolutions.  They were damn good and have shown to be tremendously influential action movies.  You know what?  I'm gonna watch them right now.  Never gets old.

(Note: Elf was released the same week as Revolutions.  That movie cost 32 million to make and brought in almost 400 million dollars worldwide just at the box office.  If you wonder why Will Ferrell gets to make any stupid movie he wants, Elf is the reason.)

Comments

[Humbert]

You are completely off on how much you print on some of these movies. Phonebooth gets only one line? It's the best Keifer has been on film since the Young Guns and the only time I have enjoyed a performance by both Katie Holmes and Colin Ferrel. Also Elf was hilarious. It also introduced me to Zooey Deshanel.

[Rodrigo]

So what are you saying? Elf deserved more attention than Biker Boyz? That's crazy.

But other than Anchor Man, I've got to think Elf is Will Ferrell's best movie. And that scene where he duets with Zooey Deschanel in the shower -- without her knowing it -- is a classic. I don't throw that word around often, but I'm throwing it here.

[JBrad]

I loved the Matrix, but the two sequels were simply too long and philosophical for my tastes. Elf was cute, but to me Will Farrell is best in supporting roles, like Old School. He is funny, but plays the same character most of the time.

[Rodrigo]

Forbes agrees completely with you on Ferrell, JBrad: http://www.forbes.com/2009/11/17/hollywoods-most-overpaid-stars-business-entertainment-overpaid-stars.html

[Jenny]

Aahh Rigo Bend it like Beckham was in 2002....

2003 has quite a number of movies that I liked:
What a girl wants
Old school
uptown girls
somethings gotta give
Under the tuscan sun
cheaper by the dozen
Just Married
Kangaroo jack
Pirate of caribbean
The Matrix
Leagally blond 2
The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Bruce Almighty
Brother Bear
Daddy day care
Freaky friday
from Justin to Kelly
How to lose a guy in 10 days
The league of extraordinary gentlemen

[Rodrigo]

Hmmm, you could be right about Bend It. Movie release dates vary depending on the country and the size of the release (one city, limited, nationwide, etc.). So I usually pick whichever release suits my needs!

Did you know Connery took that role in LOEG because the Matrix was such a huge hit and he passed on the role of Morpheus? "No Neo, I'm shaying that when you're ready, you won't have to." Ooof.

And you did not like From Justin To Kelly you crazy liar! No one did!

[Jenny]

It was entertaining